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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Power of Silence

Quite often when we are talking and explaining a point of view we need to pause to gather some thoughts, what typically happens with most people is uttering an "um" or "ah". Sounds familiar? These two verbal expressions just ruin the credibility of what was just communicated. A powerful way to maintain that credibility is a silent pause. It might seem awkward from the perspective of the speaker, but actually its completely normal from the listener's perspective. Mastering a silent pause needs practice, self-confidence and a clear mind.


The silent pause expresses confidence and trustworthiness, and adds a strong emphasis to what was just said. Be sure and use a silent pause when you are finished with your most important point. "Uhms", "ahs" and even "you know" are all forms of verbal pauses which are not only distracting, but also can become irritating to the listener. Besides the fact that the listener sees you searching for words, which often has the effect of making you look less intelligent, the repetition of these verbal pause fillers can make people uncomfortable and feeling insulted. 


Your message will be more effective once you master the silent pause. To add extra emphasis to a silent pause add a hand gesture that remains frozen in place during the full length of the silent pause. Only move the hand gesture when the next words come out of your mouth. The "frozen" gesture says, "Wait, there's more." 


The Prophet (pbuh) was known to talk little and listen much, so a leader in control is one who pauses, listens, reflects on what is being said. A long silent pause also adds power in situations involving negotiation, emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. A strong long pause during a tense discussion can leave the other party questioning where you stand and add strength to your position.