Search This Blog

Monday, June 17, 2013

Leader In My Life

For many reasons my father is the best example of a role model /leader in my life. He has overcome many hardships during his lifetime and has always remained focused, determined and been convicted about
progressing and moving forward with everything he has encountered. I have learned so much from him and about him that is still motivating me years later.

Ever since an early age while growing up in a small town in Indiana, responsibility, dedication and hard working have been ways to describe my father. He was the oldest of four in a fatherless home. His mother had to put four children in a foster home when my father was eight and his youngest sister was just turning two. This was the first time of many when his mother and siblings would rely on him for leadership and dependability. For the next 4 -5 years my father was a leader, role model and father figure for his 3 younger siblings while his mother gathered and saved money to get them all back. Once my grandmother was able to get my father and his brother and two sisters back home they moved to west Baltimore. It was 1960 and my father was a freshmen at Edmonson High School, and he was very new to city life and formal schooling. Over the next two years he adjusted as well as possible. He earned a spot on the varsity basketball team and won a state championship. My father was hired to a paper route near his home and joined the choir at the local Catholic church, continuing to being a role model and a father figure for his younger siblings. He exceled in everything of which he was a part.

During the mid 1960s the Vietnam conflict was turning into a war and gathering more and more interest
throughout the world. My father at the age of 17 in junior high decided with his mother's approval of course to join the marines. He went to fight for his country and earn money for his family. This experience taught him about life, courage, discipline, leadership and struggle. He was taught fast and expected to learn on the fly. It was one of the hardest things he has ever struggled through, but it made the man and leader he is today.

Following his military experiences he returned home to a country that didn't acknowledge not respect his stand and participation in Vietnam. Life was hard for my father, yet again he persevered over and over. He went back to school at a local college, got a job at Pimilco Race track and started a family.

Life was looking up but not for long, after my parents marriage, my mother had a miscarriage which broke both of their hearts. They tried for the next few years to have a child which weighed heavily on their relationship until in 1987 they had me in April. They could not rebuild the [severed] relations and got divorced in 1989.

My father has always been there for me no matter what, he is my best friend, a great role model as a man and a father. He was my best man at my wedding, and one of my few bright spots in my life. He is a great example of perseverance, determination, dedication, responsibility, love, care and courage.

______________________________

Todd Elliott is a 26 year old student in I Can Lead, and a recovering addict. He graduated from John Hopkins University with a Visual Communication degree. He is a graphic artist by trade and loves helping others in anyway possible.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day is Everyday

Father's day is every day. It is when we wake up motivated because years a go our fathers told us what it means to be part of the global game. It is when we make wudu and use the restroom because our father taught us what being pure means. It is when we lower our gaze because our fathers taught what being a man is all about. It is excelling in school and work, because our fathers demonstrated to us what accomplishment means. It is thinking of the future as our fathers proved to us what a family means. It is our character, our attitude, our values and our vision. Our fathers our our friends, buddies and role models, hence everyday is father's day. No matter how old we are or how distant we become, our fathers will always be our fathers and will always be the our advisories, consultants and supporters. All praises to the One who gave me a father and 5 wonderful jewels.

To those fathers out there who dumped their kids, shame on you. The day you married their mother you took an oath and thick covenant with your Creator and her's to forever be responsible for the family that shall evolve from that relationship. Ignoring your children, and leaving them as a burden on their mother's shoulders while you hide behind some fake excuse is a disgrace onto the human race. But make no mistake your children shall rise to be the solution to the problems that took you to that fate.



For those among us who lost their father's at a young age, remember your beloved Prophet Muhammud (pbuh) was an orphan and evolved to be the best man ever walked on this earth. Jesus (pbuh) has no father, and will be the leader of the believers at the end of time, Ibrahim's (pbuh) father was not a believer, yet for him he would pray for guidance. Joseph's (pbuh) father was separated from his son for years to come when a young man needs his father the most.

In every story there is a lesson, and in every lesson their is a parable. In fatherhood is the parable of succession. Succession of the human race, which Allah describes to the Angels, "I am placing on earth a succession". Today we recognize that succession through fatherhood, through leadership in the family, through the formation of the nucleus of a family, the building of a community, the rising of a society, the establishment of a civilization, the sustainment of doing good, preventing evil and believing in the Creator.

In fatherhood is the parable of guardianship and care. Looking after a responsibility following the footsteps of the beloved Prophet (pbuh), preparing the future to be guardians of truth and justice.

In fatherhood is the parable of love and compassion. Nurturing values, building bridges, building feeling and empathy towards others.

In fatherhood is the parable of fun, being fantastic, a hero, a role model, an icon of pride and dignity, a symbol of identity, a connection with the past and a light into the future.

In fatherhood is the parable of awesomeness, being unique, the reason for our being, the chooser of our mothers, the reason for our names.

In fatherhood is the parable of teaching. The mentor, coach, friend and example.

In fatherhood is the parable of helping. Helping to deal with the pain of Satin's pinching at the time of birth by reminding us of our Creator and the way to success in this life and the next. Helping to hold hands when we tried to take those first steps. Helping to understand life and read and write. Helping to wipe those tears when we were first hurt by others. Helping to determine our mission and purpose.

In fatherhood is the parable of encouragement and hope. Building dreams and validating them, consulting and empowerment.

In fatherhood is the parable of respect, sharing what it means to deal with our mothers, siblings and what it means to respect our Creator through our dealing with others and ourselves.

To my dear father, may Allah (swt) give you the best in this life and the hereafter, and reward you for everything you have done for me and my brother, and everything you intended to do but Allah (swt) did not will for it to happen, from the moment you made athan in my ears to the moment death separates between us. I love you and share with the world that if Allah had not made you my father I would have been any of what I am. May Allah (swt) raise you high in this life and in jannah with the prophets and messengers. Ameen.

Friday, May 24, 2013

A Lesson from a Wise Man to 16 Year Olds

By: Odell Copeland

Listen up kids, if you have a special someone that cares about you and shares things with you then pay attention to them. Make sure to listen and learn from them because they won't lead you wrong, because they want to see you at the the top.of your game.

My leaders who taught me and made an impact on my life are my grandmother and fiance. The things my grandmother taught me were to be strong, never let a problem go without being solved, face my fears with pride, never follow blindly and to always lead myself. Even though she is not with me now, I can still hear her words of advice and I always remember her with love. I love you grandma for the words of wisdom. If she was with us here today she would be happy to see that I am making a change in my life, and putting what she  taught me to use, pushing forward with my goals.

My fiance showed me that I was using my leadership skills in the wrong way. She helped me turn around and use them in the right way. She also helped me realize that when I speak others open their ears to listen. That advice has been useful to make me a better speaker and listener, and I love her for that.

So kids what I am really saying is just take the time and listen to those trying to advise and help you, because they don't want to see you hurt  or in a bad predicament. Your trusted advisors want you to do the things a 16-yr old should be doing. If your role model is older than you, then give them respect as they probably will know more than you and know what it takes to get where you need to go. Take the time to listen rather than block it out cause they are only trying to help.

Listen to my advice, a letter from a wise man.

________________________________________________

Odell Copeland is 32 years old. He is a student in I Can Lead, a leadership re-entry development program at Howard County Detention Center, managed and provided by I Can Lead, a program of the Islamic Leadership Institute of America. Odell lives in Howard County, he loves his family, and enjoys working with young people. He can be reached by contacting I Can Lead.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Power of Silence

Quite often when we are talking and explaining a point of view we need to pause to gather some thoughts, what typically happens with most people is uttering an "um" or "ah". Sounds familiar? These two verbal expressions just ruin the credibility of what was just communicated. A powerful way to maintain that credibility is a silent pause. It might seem awkward from the perspective of the speaker, but actually its completely normal from the listener's perspective. Mastering a silent pause needs practice, self-confidence and a clear mind.


The silent pause expresses confidence and trustworthiness, and adds a strong emphasis to what was just said. Be sure and use a silent pause when you are finished with your most important point. "Uhms", "ahs" and even "you know" are all forms of verbal pauses which are not only distracting, but also can become irritating to the listener. Besides the fact that the listener sees you searching for words, which often has the effect of making you look less intelligent, the repetition of these verbal pause fillers can make people uncomfortable and feeling insulted. 


Your message will be more effective once you master the silent pause. To add extra emphasis to a silent pause add a hand gesture that remains frozen in place during the full length of the silent pause. Only move the hand gesture when the next words come out of your mouth. The "frozen" gesture says, "Wait, there's more." 


The Prophet (pbuh) was known to talk little and listen much, so a leader in control is one who pauses, listens, reflects on what is being said. A long silent pause also adds power in situations involving negotiation, emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. A strong long pause during a tense discussion can leave the other party questioning where you stand and add strength to your position.