A Lesson from a Wise Man to 16 Year Olds

By: Odell Copeland

Listen up kids, if you have a special someone that cares about you and shares things with you then pay attention to them. Make sure to listen and learn from them because they won't lead you wrong, because they want to see you at the the top.of your game.

My leaders who taught me and made an impact on my life are my grandmother and fiance. The things my grandmother taught me were to be strong, never let a problem go without being solved, face my fears with pride, never follow blindly and to always lead myself. Even though she is not with me now, I can still hear her words of advice and I always remember her with love. I love you grandma for the words of wisdom. If she was with us here today she would be happy to see that I am making a change in my life, and putting what she  taught me to use, pushing forward with my goals.

My fiance showed me that I was using my leadership skills in the wrong way. She helped me turn around and use them in the right way. She also helped me realize that when I speak others open their ears to listen. That advice has been useful to make me a better speaker and listener, and I love her for that.

So kids what I am really saying is just take the time and listen to those trying to advise and help you, because they don't want to see you hurt  or in a bad predicament. Your trusted advisors want you to do the things a 16-yr old should be doing. If your role model is older than you, then give them respect as they probably will know more than you and know what it takes to get where you need to go. Take the time to listen rather than block it out cause they are only trying to help.

Listen to my advice, a letter from a wise man.

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Odell Copeland is 32 years old. He is a student in I Can Lead, a leadership re-entry development program at Howard County Detention Center, managed and provided by I Can Lead, a program of the Islamic Leadership Institute of America. Odell lives in Howard County, he loves his family, and enjoys working with young people. He can be reached by contacting I Can Lead.

The Power of Silence

Quite often when we are talking and explaining a point of view we need to pause to gather some thoughts, what typically happens with most people is uttering an "um" or "ah". Sounds familiar? These two verbal expressions just ruin the credibility of what was just communicated. A powerful way to maintain that credibility is a silent pause. It might seem awkward from the perspective of the speaker, but actually its completely normal from the listener's perspective. Mastering a silent pause needs practice, self-confidence and a clear mind.


The silent pause expresses confidence and trustworthiness, and adds a strong emphasis to what was just said. Be sure and use a silent pause when you are finished with your most important point. "Uhms", "ahs" and even "you know" are all forms of verbal pauses which are not only distracting, but also can become irritating to the listener. Besides the fact that the listener sees you searching for words, which often has the effect of making you look less intelligent, the repetition of these verbal pause fillers can make people uncomfortable and feeling insulted. 


Your message will be more effective once you master the silent pause. To add extra emphasis to a silent pause add a hand gesture that remains frozen in place during the full length of the silent pause. Only move the hand gesture when the next words come out of your mouth. The "frozen" gesture says, "Wait, there's more." 


The Prophet (pbuh) was known to talk little and listen much, so a leader in control is one who pauses, listens, reflects on what is being said. A long silent pause also adds power in situations involving negotiation, emotional intelligence and conflict resolution. A strong long pause during a tense discussion can leave the other party questioning where you stand and add strength to your position.